The shotty. The scattergun. The howitzer. The spreadgun. The blasty-you-in-halfsie. For as long as video games have featured guns (Read: Always), the most coveted and sought-after weapon by the gaming masses has always been the shotgun. You can't blame them; the shotgun has consistently been the most devastating and efficient digitized firearm since people were fighting over a big letter 'S' in Contra.
As tribute to the close-range killer, I've put together the list of the five best shotguns in my gaming history.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Why I Cancelled My Playstation 4 Preorder
Well, all of my hopes and dreams have gone to shit.
I preordered my Playstation 4 the day after the Sony press conference at E3. Do you remember that fucking press conference? Remember when Jack Tretton laid the smack-down of the century on Microsoft? It was such a harsh beating that the Xbox One is basically a completely different console from the one shown at E3. I think I remember a few "yo mamma" jokes in there too, but I digress. I was beyond hyped for the PS4. The exclusives, the graphics, the price. It was all perfect. I was ready. My body was ready.
And then they delayed Watch Dogs.
Okay, I had been rethinking my preorder just a little before that news broke. Was it worth spending $400 for a box that plays really pretty shooters that wouldn't have many very significant titles until Spring? Probably not, but Watch Dogs was my system-seller. It was next-gen is every discernible way. It was incredibly ambitious for an open world game, and looked completely unlike any game that has come before it. My PC was quickly becoming a relic of a bygone era of Far Cry 3's and Hitman: Abolutions, and Watch Dogs finally signaled my exit from the fantastic illusion of the "PC Master Race."
I was still holding on to my reserve for dear life. They still have Killzone and Call of Duty, I thought. Those are just shooters with new engines, nothing worth buying a new console for. What about Knack? Knack? Are you serious? Shut up, brain. Fuck you, Mike. NO FUCK YOU, BRAIN. The real blockbuster games like Destiny and Infamous aren't coming until a few months after the console's release. What about Driveclub? That game looks awesome, and it's FREE. Hey, yeah, you're right brain! Driveclub looks rad as hell! I'll get that and- oh wait never mind that got cancelled too.
So I went to Gamestop and cancelled my preorder.
I was inconsolable. My next gen dreams were gone... until a few months from now when Watch Dogs comes out. All I had was a gaming PC, every current-gen console, and an extra $100 lining my pockets. What was I to do?
Oh, hey there beautiful.
I preordered my Playstation 4 the day after the Sony press conference at E3. Do you remember that fucking press conference? Remember when Jack Tretton laid the smack-down of the century on Microsoft? It was such a harsh beating that the Xbox One is basically a completely different console from the one shown at E3. I think I remember a few "yo mamma" jokes in there too, but I digress. I was beyond hyped for the PS4. The exclusives, the graphics, the price. It was all perfect. I was ready. My body was ready.
And then they delayed Watch Dogs.
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| Via |
Okay, I had been rethinking my preorder just a little before that news broke. Was it worth spending $400 for a box that plays really pretty shooters that wouldn't have many very significant titles until Spring? Probably not, but Watch Dogs was my system-seller. It was next-gen is every discernible way. It was incredibly ambitious for an open world game, and looked completely unlike any game that has come before it. My PC was quickly becoming a relic of a bygone era of Far Cry 3's and Hitman: Abolutions, and Watch Dogs finally signaled my exit from the fantastic illusion of the "PC Master Race."
I was still holding on to my reserve for dear life. They still have Killzone and Call of Duty, I thought. Those are just shooters with new engines, nothing worth buying a new console for. What about Knack? Knack? Are you serious? Shut up, brain. Fuck you, Mike. NO FUCK YOU, BRAIN. The real blockbuster games like Destiny and Infamous aren't coming until a few months after the console's release. What about Driveclub? That game looks awesome, and it's FREE. Hey, yeah, you're right brain! Driveclub looks rad as hell! I'll get that and- oh wait never mind that got cancelled too.
So I went to Gamestop and cancelled my preorder.
I was inconsolable. My next gen dreams were gone... until a few months from now when Watch Dogs comes out. All I had was a gaming PC, every current-gen console, and an extra $100 lining my pockets. What was I to do?
Oh, hey there beautiful.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Hey Everyone!
Congrats, nerds! You've discovered my new blog, Bowbi Plays! I made this blog to write whatever the hell I want about whatever the hell I want.
Okay, it's mostly going to be video games.
Video games have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I remember the day my mom took my sister and I to the store to get a Nintendo 64. I remember when I was in the hospital with some as-of-yet unidentified flesh-eating bacteria and my parents got me a GameBoy Color (yeah, I had been pestering them for months to get me one and the only thing that convinced them was a new and unknown threat to my life). I remember Christmas in 2001 when my Uncle gave me Pokémon Crystal Version, the best game of all time and THERE WILL BE NO FURTHER DISCUSSION ON THE MATTER.
The thing is, I don't want to end up some entitled millenial playing games and taking nothing redeeming from them. I want to learn and grow and share the most incredible mass medium in the world with other people.
I'm going to be spending whatever free time I have writing here. I'll be giving my impressions, opinions, and my vain attempts at humor over whatever games I want. I'll be writing reviews for games new and old (because I'm too broke to afford every new $60 game), my thoughts on current events in the industry, and maybe throw in a couple of gameplay videos.
I'm doing this because I love writing, and I love video games. I love them so much that I want to make a career out of it, and this is the first step. I want to become as good at this as I can possibly be, and I want you to help me. Tell me what you think. Tell me what you want in a writer. Hit me if you have to, I don't mind.
It's not going to be easy. The thing is, nobody ever told me it was - in fact they've been telling me the exact opposite - and that's exactly why I want to do it.
Thank you.
Okay, it's mostly going to be video games.
Video games have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. I remember the day my mom took my sister and I to the store to get a Nintendo 64. I remember when I was in the hospital with some as-of-yet unidentified flesh-eating bacteria and my parents got me a GameBoy Color (yeah, I had been pestering them for months to get me one and the only thing that convinced them was a new and unknown threat to my life). I remember Christmas in 2001 when my Uncle gave me Pokémon Crystal Version, the best game of all time and THERE WILL BE NO FURTHER DISCUSSION ON THE MATTER.
The thing is, I don't want to end up some entitled millenial playing games and taking nothing redeeming from them. I want to learn and grow and share the most incredible mass medium in the world with other people.
I'm going to be spending whatever free time I have writing here. I'll be giving my impressions, opinions, and my vain attempts at humor over whatever games I want. I'll be writing reviews for games new and old (because I'm too broke to afford every new $60 game), my thoughts on current events in the industry, and maybe throw in a couple of gameplay videos.
I'm doing this because I love writing, and I love video games. I love them so much that I want to make a career out of it, and this is the first step. I want to become as good at this as I can possibly be, and I want you to help me. Tell me what you think. Tell me what you want in a writer. Hit me if you have to, I don't mind.
It's not going to be easy. The thing is, nobody ever told me it was - in fact they've been telling me the exact opposite - and that's exactly why I want to do it.
Thank you.
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